EXTRA FOR MINISTRY WIVES 

The ministry wife - A minor role?

Hopefully there are good points as well as any difficult things which come your way.

There were wives

I remember the first time my attention was drawn to the fact that the disciples of Jesus had wives. I had never noticed before. I had not made the connection that for Jesus to heal Peter’s mother-in-law in Matthew 8 v14 Peter must have had a wife whose mother was sick. We know next to nothing about them. If we were to go to heaven and speak to them today what would they say about that literary silence? “That’s ok, everything I did was needed and I was happy to play my part even though it was hard sometimes.” or, “I wish my husband had never taken up his call from Jesus. He was away with Jesus so much, it was so hard and all I got was criticism and loneliness.”

I wonder what your view is of your husband’s ministry. Hopefully there are good points as well as any difficult things which come your way. Many ministry wives come to a place, if only occasionally, of finding things overwhelming. They feel lonely or taken advantage of or a mix of many other complex feelings.

Everyone is of equal value in the Lord’s sight. God's grace is poured out on you just as much as on your husband...You are significant, you are important and you are worthy of the term “minister” too for you are equally called.

Humble or down-trodden?

What is the difference between humble and down trodden? Humble is when from our lofty confidence in our position in Christ we choose to place others higher than ourselves knowing that nothing of ourselves will ever be lost. Down trodden is when we have lost sight of ourselves and the true nature of Christ and His calling to us. Many ministry wives end up with this second outlook. They feel their role is seen as minor in comparison with that of their husband. They feel less significant, less important and are often treated as if they are less worthy than their husband who is being, “the Lord’s hands and feet”. Sometimes the opposite is true. The church treats you as though you are better, higher even, and as a consequence have expectations about your countenance, faith and role but you feel unable to fulfil that role (rightly or wrongly dependant upon what the expectations are and what your gifts are).

If some of this is how you feel I do pray that you will join with me in following a series of studies as I want to encourage you in your role as a ministry wife. Everyone is of equal value in the Lord’s sight. God's grace is poured out on you just as much as on your husband. Jesus died for you just as much as your husband. He knew and chose you before you were born, just like he knew and chose your husband before he was born. You are different from, but not minor to, your husband. You are significant, you are important and you are worthy of the term “minister” too for you are equally called.

Tucked away at the back of the Old Testament are twelve small books collectively called the “Minor Prophets”. They cover pretty much the same time period as the Major Prophets and many of the same events are prophesied by both groups.

They are called “minor” because what they said has been passed on in a shorter form then the more lengthy books of the “major prophets” but what they did and said was just as important in God’s plans for his people. I think there is much there that can be helpful to us ministry wives.

There is no such thing as the right background to be a ministry wife.

What a diverse bunch they were

As an over view, let us notice what a diverse bunch they were. They were all doing the same basic job—being a prophet—but they varied, some being professional prophets, some well-educated, some city based, well respected men (Zephaniah with royal influence), Amos was an agricultural country man and Hosea was married to a prostitute. God chose and used them all.

There is no such thing as the right background to be a ministry wife—God has chosen you for all that you are and all that you have been and it is His choice that we are all different.

God uses their experience and knowledge in their prophecies. For example, the book of Joel uses pictures of locusts which would have been well understood and feared by the largely agricultural Judah to whom the prophecy is addressed. Hosea’s whole life was a picture of the relationship of God with the nation of Israel—Hosea was married to a prostitute whom he loved very much and he longed to have her only for himself—Just as God longed to have Israel back, to dedicate themselves only to Him.

As wives of men in ministry we should be open to using our experiences and knowledge to fulfil the calling that God has placed on our lives. To speak and act where we can. (That may mean making hard choices to say “no” and “we need more space and time to ourselves”.)

You are not like any other ministry wife and neither should you be. 

God uses their personality. Some prophets were given pictures or visions, some more practical actions to perform. God knows what we can deliver best and what our “hearers” will best respond to. Once again we are all different and God’s diversity of choice in ministry wives is to be a positive thing not a weight around your neck. You are not like any other ministry wife and neither should you be. Concentrate on what God has made you and what He has called you to.

God uses their mistakes. Jonah made a big mistake in trying to run away from God when he was asked to take a message to Nineveh but we see Jonah learn some valuable lessons from which we in turn can learn.

For us today we need to remember that no matter what mistakes we make there is always a way back to God. And no matter in what ways He may use us in other people’s lives He has his eye on our personal needs and growth too.

Our experiences and struggles today will make us who we become tomorrow.

God uses their own search. Not all our efforts are mistakes and again, just as Jonah’s more positive actions were used by God, so can ours be. We may say, “If only I knew then what I know now.” but the fact is all those past experiences have shaped what we have become now and our experiences and struggles today will make us who we become tomorrow.

In future articles we will go on to look at particular truths revealed in these 12 shorter prophecies which we can use in our ministry lives. In the mean time, may I encourage you to keep in mind these general points and apply them to yourself in your daily joys and struggles.

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This article © Linda Faber 2006-2009.