Deference - It's never been easy...

Deference
It's never been easy... The Bible points out the need for deference	More willing days I think my earliest memory is of going to the supermarket with my mother and being allowed to push the shopping trolley for the first time. I wasn’t tall enough yet to see over the top to see where I was going so I needed to let my mum lead the trolley from the front end. As much as my independence wanted to think I was grown up enough to be in control of such a task the reality was different and a little guidance from someone more experienced was needed.
	Independent thinking Our independence likes us to think that when we are grown up there is far less need to place ourselves under the guidance or leadership of others. The truth is that we never grow out of such a need all together. Many times we need to defer to others. Three types of situation There are three main types of situation where deference is needed. As part of our direct developing process we may need to place ourselves under someone wiser. This is so that we can learn from them as we continue to grow and change from “glory into glory”. It does not detract from the fact that we need to be taking our responsibilities seriously and doing our part to enable us to grow into our role, but for now someone else’s guidance is needed. The second situation involves us in recognising the authority of leadership of another over us and the third, the situation where there is equal value in another’s opinion to which it is good grace and manners to defer.
The truth is that we never grow out of such a need all together.
	Me first Deference is a word that I don’t use every day, in fact not only is it not used much but its meaning isn’t seen as having much worth in western society either. To defer to someone means “to yield to or comply with the wishes of another” (The New Collins Concise English Dictionary). The media I see, and the society I live in, is very much full of a ‘me first’ attitude. Contemplating yielding to another without being forced to do so is becoming a rare attribute. Yet for the Christian it is of significant importance.
The fact that it was spelt out in these biblical letters means that people didn’t find it easy to do then either.	In Scripture Deference is referred to directly in the teaching of scripture. The word ‘submit’ is used. It means almost exactly the same thing. The Bible tells us to “submit to those in authority” or “submit to one another”. I think the fact that it was spelt out in these biblical letters means that people didn’t find it easy to do then either. The epistle writers needed to give instruction about it. I will go on, in future articles to look more closely at what this means as a biblical concept for us but for now may I encourage you to examine your own feelings about deference or submission. Perhaps the following questions may assist you.
	Do you find it offensive if someone tells you what to do? Do you find it difficult to do as you are told? Does the amount of respect you have for another person affect how willing you are to submit to them? Does your mood change when someone tells you to do something? Do you behave differently if someone asks you to do something or tells you?
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